Man, why do people keep dying? Aretha, Bourdain and now Burt Reynolds? I’m not what you would call a Burt Reynolds “fan.” I’m not not a fan, it’s just that, being born in the 1980s meant I was a bit too young to appreciate his work. For example, I’ve never seen Smokey and the Bandit. I’ve seen Deliverance, which I enjoyed, as much as one can “enjoy” watching four dudes get chased by backwater rapists. So if I’m being totally honest, my most vivid Reynolds memory is watching his campy turn as dim-witted Congressman David Dilbeck in 1996’s worst movie of the year, Striptease.
Still, I think Miles Klee hits the nail on the head in this piece by acknowledging that even guys who didn’t grow up on Reynolds’ movies appreciate his contribution toward redefining what it means to be masculine and sexy—like, that it’s okay to be a little (or a lot) hairy. And for that, Burt, I will be forever grateful. RIP, Congressman Dilbeck.
And now, here’s the best of the rest of MEL today—in case you missed it.
“The Three Kinds of Assholes You Meet in Centrist Hell”
Miles Klee goes full Miles Klee on the three species of well-platformed public figures peddling the false belief that the current administration is a temporary aberration, rather than a climax of American rot: #Resistance grifters, never-Trumpers and the apolitical pundits yearning for a return to the Discourse That Once Was. READ MORE
Clean Your Butts, People
It’s not that hard, is it? Soap, water, a little elbow grease—and viola!—a crack so clean you could eat off it. And yet, it seems like there’s a surprising number of men all around us who do the opposite, and refrain from thoroughly cleaning their butts—on the toilet, or in the shower.
CTE: 1, Luke Cage: 0
Luke Cage’s superpower is that he’s, more or less, invincible. Punch the Marvel Comics hero, crack him with a 2×4, throw him through a wall and he won’t be phased. But in best-selling comic book writer Anthony Del Col’s latest title, Luke Cage: Everyman, Cage may have met his ultimate match: Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). Josh Sky spoke to Del Col about CTE, the NFL players who are suffering from it and how the character formerly known as Power Man became the perfect vehicle to bring CTE into the superhero fold.
We’ve all been there: Lying in bed, spooning your sleeping partner, arm-cradling them lovingly. Then, slowly at first, the tingling sensation sets in. Soon, it’s the only thing you can think about. Do you…
- Wait it out until she changes positions?
- Wake her up?
- Accept your dead-arm fate?
- Fashion a crude implement and lop that fucker off at the joint?
None of the above. Instead, do this.
Millennials in the office, amirite? If we’re not complaining about shit coffee, we’re whining about the office snack selection (too few or too much—take your pick). But as it turns out, neither snacks nor an in-house barista top our “most desired” office perk—that would be access to natural light, or better yet, a view. And, as tame as that might seem, it’s actually for good reason. Because there’s a ton of depressing shit that happens to our bodies when we can’t work in natural light.
Big Things, Small Apartment
Speaking of millennials, our apartments (lol, homeownership) are crap, and so small, generally speaking, that our kitchens often double as bathrooms.
Unfortunately, we also love to buy shit we don’t have room for. The bigger, the better! Like this list of things (that I totally didn’t pull from my Amazon wish list that you can find here, you know, in case you’re feeling generous):
- Drum Set
- Pinball Machine
- Arcade Game
- Foosball Table
- A Ridiculous Aquarium
- A Life-Size Sex Doll
- Pool Table
So, how does one feng shui big items into a small apartment? Click here to find out.
Old-People Sex Questions, Answered
You’re getting older. You can feel it in your bones. And boner. So it’s only natural to be curious about how you’re going to do the nasty when it’s time for your kids to send you to the rest home. Luckily, we’ve got answers.
Did You Know…?
…that the earliest use of “tall, dark and handsome” in print described a woman? There’s actually a lot more to this swarthy trope than meets the eye.
RIP, Burt Reynolds and Your Incredible Chest Hair
In the saddest of news, the world lost a hairball-among-men today in movie idol Burt Reynolds, who died of a heart attack at the age of 82.
Miles Klee penned this ode to the Smokey and the Bandit star, and all the work Reynolds did to bring sexy back for hairy men everywhere.