From a consumer perspective, TikTok is the TJ Maxx of social media — it’s constantly trying to convince me to buy shit I’m absolutely not in the market for. The showerhead replacement I’ve been seeing on the app is the perfect example of this. I’m not even staying at my own place at the moment, what fucking business would I have swapping out the showerhead in the guest bathroom of my boyfriend’s parents house? And yet, when I see videos of this product that allegedly filters the water through these neat looking orange beads while strengthening the water pressure, I’m intrigued.
Thing is, I’m pretty sure it’s at least 50 percent bullshit.
The majority of TikToks referencing a showerhead identify the item as being from a company called ZenBody. There is essentially zero information available about the company itself, and they exclusively sell this showerhead and its related accessories. On Amazon and Aliexpress, there are dozens of listings for showerheads that appear to be the same model. The main difference between the ZenBody website, Amazon and Aliexpress listings is price: ZenBody sells theirs for $50, Amazon’s average between $25 and $35 and Aliexpress’ offers some as low as $1 a piece. In all likelihood, these three sites are selling the exact same product.
That’s not inherently a bad thing, depending on your perspective of the global tentacles of capitalism, and ZenBody is by no means the first retailer to utilize this practice if they do. It’s just, you know, worth noting.
The aspect I’m most dubious about is the alleged filtering capabilities. On the ZenBody website, the beads visible within the showerhead are said to be maifan stones. Conveniently, nearly every result on Google for “maifan stone” leads to some type of shower/drinking water filter. So really, I have absolutely no fucking idea what a maifan stone is. Many of the results state that maifan stone actually helps remineralize water, and is the composite of multiple minerals in itself. It seems possible, then, that this showerhead doesn’t filter the water, but adds even more minerals to your water instead.
That’s not inherently a bad thing, either! Maybe it really does filter well, or maybe those added minerals do offer some benefits. Plenty of good reviews seem to think so. Regardless of the validity of the filtering claim, though, the showerhead’s water pressure capabilities do seem to offer one undeniable benefit — for masturbating.
The TikToks themselves certainly aren’t shy about that, either. “Look at that pressure, ladies… look at the pressure, ladies,” one video with nearly 69,000 (nice) likes says. “I’ll buy it, but it won’t be for the filtering of the water,” one woman commented.
Maybe this is the next Hitachi wand, a product marketed as a “massage” tool that we all know damn well is sending clitori into orbit. Lying about a product’s capabilities isn’t honorable, but covertly providing orgasms is. If we must all be lied to about whatever the hell maifan stones are in order for the gospel of this showerhead to be shared with the masses, fine. I can get behind that.