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Sunday Reads: Killing Boners with Chemicals, The Legendary Deejay Putting Inmates on the Air and The One ‘Endgame’ Outcome Not Even Dr. Strange Could Have Predicted

Can you imagine the unbridled bliss that would come with not having a smartphone? I’d probably read books, take up knitting and actually listen when my boyfriend is telling me a story about his coworkers. Instead, I spend an insane five hours a day on my phone — no joke, my iPhone is more than happy to shame my addicted ass. Sure, I tell myself that I need to have a smartphone as part of my job as a writer for this website, a job that requires me to be Very Online™. Someday, though, I’m gonna snap and smash my phone, move to the mountains and run a pig sanctuary. Of course, you’ll still be able to reach me via flip phone.

Must Reads

The Male Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
It’s a pattern more common than you’d think, but still, a hard one to catch: A relationship unfolds with one partner showering the other in affection. Soon, however, that affection fades, leaving the previously doted-upon to constantly seek that same kind of love. They bend over backwards, change their schedules, buy gifts, book flights, but nothing works; the affection they once received is gone, never to return. This is a common dynamic in situations of narcissistic abuse, of which many men are quiet victims. C. Brian Smith attended support meetings, frequented forums and spoke directly to men who have dated narcissistic partners about what it’s like to live under someone’s thumb, and the emotional and psychological destruction this incurable disorder causes.

The Guys Seeking DIY Chemical Castration
Most guys would characterize their erections as a perpetual joystick at best, and an occasional nuisance at worst. Some men, however, consider their boners to be the ultimate taunt, there to remind them of what they’ll never have — a date, a sexual encounter, a relationship — and are willing to do anything to be rid of them entirely. To achieve that end, they’re relying on a means that’s historically has been prescribed punitively to sexually violent and predatory men: Chemical castration.

The Week in Features

A Legend on the Radio — And in the Pen
Art Laboe is radio royalty. In more than 75 years in the business, he was the first deejay in L.A. to adopt a rock ‘n’ roll format; the first to do remote broadcasts; and the first to take requests, offer ticket contests and do live dedications on the air. Now, in the final years of his career, the 93-year-old Laboe has found a new way to make waves: Bringing prisoners in direct contact with their loved ones.

RIP Nipsey Hussle

On the last day of March, around 3:20 p.m., rapper and businessman Nipsey Hussle was gunned down in South L.A. With that sudden, unexpected flash of gunfire, the young rap god’s life was reduced from a celebrated marathon to a tragic sprint — rendering him a half-made man who had so much more to do, to make, to build, to grow and to become.

The Lazarus Files

The 1986 murder of Sherri Rasmussen was, according to the LAPD and its investigators, a home invasion gone wrong. But in 2009, the case broke wide open, revealing what seems to be an outlandishly brazen cover-up by the department to protect Stephanie Lazarus, an LAPD detective and a jealous former lover of Rasmussen’s husband.

Cracking Down on Kratom

Kratom is most widely known for its use among opiate addicts trying to ease the agony of withdrawals. Those same pain-killing effects, however, have made it a popular supplement among bodybuilders who frequently push their bodies to the extreme. So though musclehead and contributing writer Oliver Lee Bateman has neither a history of injuries nor opioid abuse, he spent three months experimenting with the all-natural wonder drug. Unfortunately, he didn’t find kratom nearly the miracle pain-reliever that opiate addicts have made it out to be.

Some Lighter Reading

Out-of-Context Quote of the Week

“Thanks to an unpleasant-sounding balloon procedure called a rectal compliance test, there is ‘already scientific knowledge about the expansive tolerance of the human rectum,’ says Alex Klotz, a scientist at MIT who studies, among other things, DNA knots and the science of falling through Earth. Alas, we’re not dealing with a human rectum — we’re dealing with the strongest anal sphincter in the universe, bolstered by nothing less than the Power Stone.”

The actual context: A biophysicist weighed in on the theory that Ant-Man could defeat Thanos by becoming an ant and climbing into Thanos’ asshole and expanding.

But Don’t Just Take Our Word For It…