WARNING: The following article contains graphic content that may leave you with a melted face and a taste for death. Parental discretion is advised. HAIL SATAN
1982: Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne bites off the head of a dead bat thrown on stage while performing live in Des Moines, Iowa.
1986: Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen has his arm amputated after a car accident. He says fuck it, continues drumming for the band with one arm.
2014: Cute snow owl kills 70 lemmings, uses their furry carcasses to make a nest for its young.
HOLY SHIT, NATURE IS METAL AS HELL!!!
Speaking of nature and metal, if you happen to have a taste for the dark arts, but also find yourself watching Planet Earth on Netflix stoned, the subreddit Nature is Metal is the place for you. It’s an endless list of insane moments that occur in nature and a constant reminder that at any moment a leopard seal could decapitate you. For animal lovers, the moderators make it clear that they in no way condone animal violence and that “this subreddit is to appreciate the brutality and unforgiving parts of nature.”
After carving a pentagram into my forehead, I spent most of today compiling a list of my favorite metal moments in nature. I also enlisted metal sommelier and MEL editor Nick Leftley to pair each moment with a great metal song so as to enhance the experience even more.
A Group of Bees Avenge Their Friend Who Got Killed by a Hornet
Pair with DragonForce’s “Heroes of our Time”
Seal Gets Serious Air Time After Being Launched by an Orca
Pair with Megadeth’s “High Speed Dirt”
Jaguar Diving for Caimen (aka Crocodile) Kill
Pair with Trivium’s “Into the Mouth of Hell We March”
Pack of Wolves Hunting a Buffalo
Pair with Mastadon’s “Blood and Thunder”
Komodo Dragon Chowing Down on a Monkey
Pair with Gwar’s “Gor-Gor”
Jaguars Throw An Antelope from A Small(ish) Hill
Pair with Cannibal Corpse’s “Kill or Become”
Crocodile Gets Fucked Up by Gaggle of Hippos
Pair with Gatecreeper’s “Stronghold”
Trapdoor Spider Eats a Cricket
Pair with Morbid Angel’s “Immortal Rights”
Leopard Bitch-Slaps A Crocodile
Pair with Pantera’s “Walk”