There are many differences between us, but if there’s anything we all have in common, it’s an anus. Why, then, are we so confused about how to have fun with them? In our new bi-weekly column, Getting Anal About Anal, writer, comedian and self-proclaimed “bottom supreme” Chingy Nea shares advice and musings on the body’s most mysterious pleasure-hole. This week: the Butt plug.
Everyone’s anal adventures have to start somewhere, and most of ours come from humble beginnings. I started with my own fingers and the handles of a couple lucky makeup brushes, but a butt plug from my local sex shop was my first real anal toy. Since then, I’ve become a consummate connoisseur of anal items. I’ll always, however, still have a soft spot in my heart for the most humble of anal intruders.
Everyone, say hello to the butt plug.
Wait, what’s a butt plug?
A butt plug is a type of sex toy that plugs buttholes. Usually, they have an insertable portion that’s shaped like a teardrop or finger, as well as a thinner section that extends out into a flared base.
Why would you put that in your hole?
People use butt plugs for a variety of reasons, but the most obvious is that they can feel really good. Your anus has a lot of sensitive nerve endings that can feel great to stimulate — more than the penis, actually — and using a butt plug is a relatively simple way to do so. They can also help your sphincter muscles relax so it’s easier to get a larger object in you, and you can even throw one in while jerking off or having sex — sometimes, a little anal stimulation can help you get closer to orgasm.
Butt plugs can also be used to play into certain fetishes. For instance, some butt plugs come with tails attached for different kinds of pet play. In Domme/sub dynamics, some dominants like to keep their submissives plugged as a form of control, making them do chores or go about their daily tasks while their hole is being constantly stretched and stimulated. Some even make their subs discreetly wear a plug while out in the world (a few vibrating ones are able to be controlled via remote or through an app via WiFi), but you can also choose to wear a plug in public on your own.
In public?! Is that legal? What if someone finds out?
Yes, it’s legal. And the chances are slim that anyone will find out unless you go up to someone and tell them (do not go up to someone and tell them). Nobody has to know you’re shopping for cereal with a stuffed bussy but you!
Can anyone use one? Even me?
If you have a butthole, then yes, you can use a butt plug. If you have a prostate, lubing up your ass and slipping a plug in can be a great way to stimulate it, which can feel deeply pleasurable. In fact, there are plugs that are specifically designed to stimulate the prostate, like those made by Aneros. If you don’t have a prostate, congratulations — butt plugs still feel really good and can stimulate the G-spot indirectly.
What does it feel like to be plugged?
I suppose it can differ, but for me, it simply makes my rear entrance feel stuffed, in a good way. Sometimes, it can feel like I continually need to use the bathroom, but mostly it just feels like a welcome intruding stimulation in a part of my body I’m otherwise not always cognizant of. It’s a bit hard to describe. They should’ve sent a poet.
How long can I wear a butt plug?
Bathroom breaks aside, a plug can be left in for anywhere from minutes to hours, depending on your comfort level (you can even go to bed with one in). If you’re new to anal training or assplay, I recommend wearing it for no longer than two or three hours or for as long as it feels comfortable.
Okay, sold. What’s the best kind of butt plug?
That depends on where you are in your anal journey and what you want out of your filling. If you’re just starting out, you probably want a plug that’s somewhere between the width of a few fingers and a standard banana. If you’re more experienced, size up. If you’re not sure which size to get, try a graded kit — these usually come with three sizes you can play around with.
Beyond that, there are vibrating plugs — including some that can simulate the sensation of having your ass eaten — and others that let you (or someone else) control the vibration with an app. There are also inflatable plugs that can be expanded once inside you, and plugs that are hollow — these keep your hole effectively gaped for any partner who might want to look or play inside you. Some hollow plugs are even fuckable, like the Pig Hole. The butt-stuffing future is now!
Because some sex toys aren’t always made of body-safe materials, I’d recommend buying a plug made of a non-porous material like silicone, metal or glass. Other than that, there isn’t really a “best” plug — it’s all about what’s right for you and your butt.
How do you put one in?
Lube up the insertable portion, and —
Wait, I need lube for this?
Yes, my dude. It’s a butt. Butts do not self-lubricate. Therefore, they need lube. Actually, most holes fare better with lube. I’d recommend a water-based lubricant like Sliquid as it’s compatible with all sex-toy materials. If you want something cushier and longer-lasting, try a silicone or oil-based lube (just check that it’s compatible with your toy material first). Can I finish explaining how to plug your butthole now?
Yeah, my bad. How do I plug my butthole?
Generously lube up the insertable portion of the toy as well as the outside of your hole. Push it in gently. If you get to a point where it feels like your hole is too tight, just hold, stop pushing and breathe while your sphincter gradually adjusts. Once you’ve adjusted, keep pushing.
Eventually, after you’ve gotten in the thickest portion of the toy inside you, the rest should pretty much pull itself into you, with the flared base nestled between your cheeks and stopping it from going in any deeper.
Whoa! Does that hurt?
It shouldn’t! If it does, you might need to add more lube, adjust your position or do whatever you need to do to relax. Sometimes, having an orgasm helps, as does smoking a little weed or suckling some wine from your Bota Box (just don’t imbibe too much — you want to be fully conscious and aware so you can recognize what feels good and what doesn’t).
Are there any risks?
Again, it’s important to make sure your toys are made of body-safe materials. Beyond that, double-check that the butt-plug’s flared base is of a wider circumference than the insertable portion, otherwise the toy could get sucked up into your colon 🙁
For that reason, I wouldn’t typically recommend the popular style of jeweled butt plug, as they usually don’t meet this criteria. Other than that, the main risk of plugging your butt is feeling too good from having your butt all plugged up. Bottoms up!