If you enjoy a good tipple and you enjoy huge leaps in logic, have we got some great news for you: Tequila is good for your bones.
This, according to what the Independent describes as a “researcher in Mexico.” Which, to this writer, sounds suspiciously like someone who may or may not be connected with Big Agave. I kid: The researcher is actually a real, live doctor with the Center for Research and Advanced Studies in Mexico City.
Blue agave—the variety that when baked, mashed, strained, fermented and then distilled becomes tequila—contains substances called “fructans” that improve the body’s ability to absorb calcium. Calcium, as any parent who has ever (perhaps erroneously) served milk to their small child can attest, is the element essential to strong bones.
In the study on mice suffering from osteoporosis, those that were administered agave fructans were able to absorb 50 percent more calcium than mice that were not. In addition, their little mice bones were found to have become thicker, too.
So, would it be a stretch to assume that, if agave can improve bone health, tequila, which is made from agave, must do the same? While the science does indicate that perhaps blue agave can be researched as an alternative to existing osteoporosis treatments, don’t go running to your local liquor store just yet: The research was done on agave, not on Cuervo. Undoubtedly, not every nutrient in agave survives the distillation process — plus, it’s highly unlikely that any doctor would ever recommend tequila to combat brittle bones, especially since other options are available that accomplish the same ends and won’t wreck your liver.
Those of us who enjoy a drink or five after work will have to settle for red wine being the only alcohol that’s “good for you.” And even so, like everything in life, only in moderation.
A few other things we learned about our bodies today:
- Speaking of losing nutrients, pre-packaged salads aren’t as good for you as fresh greens.
- Just because you decided to go sans animal products doesn’t mean that vegan cheese pizza is good for you.
- Another day, another study showing that a lack of sleep is fucking you up.
- There’s hope on the horizon for anyone at-risk for heart disease: A new drug promises to “melt away” artery-clogging fat.
- Guys who are infertile feel like no one really cares what they’re going through.
- In today’s “no, duh” news, the Alzheimer’s preventing milkshake Souvenaid doesn’t work as intended.