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Pete Keeley

Pete Keeley is a (sometimes) writer and (mostly) editor whose mom mails many Chicago delicacies to his home in Los Angeles. He falls asleep every night dreaming of the day the Bulls fire John Paxson.

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Are All Guys Doomed to Stain Their Pants as They Get Older?

Searching for a solution to my evidently loosening ass, I dive deep into the science of ‘soiling’ — a curse as common as it is embarrassing