Earlier this year, I wrote a story about straight men in the rural Midwest who have sex with each other.
It was based on a recent study from Tony Silva, a researcher at the University of Oregon. He had found 19 white, straight-identifying men in rustic, socially conservative regions of five plain and mountain states who admitted to having sex with other men — or “bud-sex” as Silva terms it.
“These men genuinely identify as straight or some variation thereof,” he told me. “They aren’t fooling themselves.”
They had wives.
They had kids.
They knew how to work a chainsaw and clean a dead deer.
It was an illuminating study — and one I enjoyed reporting on — but I figured I’d heard the last of the “Brokeback Prairie.”
Then, a couple weeks ago, I received the following e-mail out of the blue (sic throughout):
I really enjoyed your article on rural men having sex with each other. I started when I was fifty. I’m now 63, and really enjoy the sex, especially receiving anal. I’m in Montana, and there is a large number of men who also enjoy it. It seems that most of the guys who fuck me are married, and many more of them who just enjoy sucking cocks. I’d be happy to contribute towards your project. I’m quite open about talking about having sex with men. My phone # is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
When you call, please ask for the cock sucker so I won’t hang up thinking you are another telemarketer. You can use any of these pictures for article illustrations. I’m not concerned about exposure, these are already on the internet.
As he promised, the email arrived with a dozen or so extremely NSFW attachments demonstrating that Ric did, in fact, very much enjoy receiving anal.
I was intrigued. Part of me always wondered whether these guys actually existed outside of an academic study. So after cross-checking the name and number to make sure both were legitimate, I gave Ric a call. He was, in equal measure, decidedly un-woke, completely contradictory and extraordinarily horny. Before we got off the phone he proudly informed me he’d been stroking his cock throughout our conversation, which included details of his favorite fisting experience, his thoughts on sexual fluidity (his own and the men he has sex with) and his penchant for muzzleloader rifle competitions.
Can you describe where you live?
I live in Montana in a little cabin up in the mountains.
How rural is it?
Rural enough that I can suck cock out on my front deck, and no one’s gonna see me.
So quite rural. Do you hunt and fish?
Oh yeah. I do a lot of competition shooting.
Generally speaking, do you think sexuality is binary — you’re either gay or straight?
No, I think it’s fluid.
Based on what?
Based on how many married men I have sex with. Depending on what part of life they’re in, they may be more attracted to men or women.
How do you identify?
I’m about 50–50.
Has that changed throughout your life?
Oh, sure. After I started having sex with men, it got about even. I enjoy having sex with men and women equally now.
Some people say that deep down all men are a little gay. Do you agree with that?
No, I don’t think so. I know lots of straight folks who are totally straight.
Do labels like “gay,” “straight” and “bisexual” matter anymore?
I don’t think anyone pays attention to labels except gay people. Straight people don’t give a shit. They’re going about their lives; they don’t care what anyone else is doing. I see a lot more discrimination in the LGBT crowd than I do amongst the straights, that’s for sure.
What do you mean?
Well, you get people especially on the left, who claim to be so tolerant but they’re the first ones to call somebody a “faggot” or a “cocksucker.” Bill Maher calls Milo a fag.
You don’t think straight people do the same?
Very seldom, in my experience.
Would you consider yourself a Republican, Democrat or other?
That’s no one’s business but mine.
Where did you grow up?
What was your family life like?
Really good family. Still are a good family.
Did you have girlfriends when you were a teenager?
Oh yeah. I fucked a lot of women over the years when I had the chance.
When did you lose your virginity to a woman?
When I was 16.
Any memories from that?
I remember it was a double date, and I fucked her in the back of a car, as most kids did. We continued to get together some time after that. We were fucking just about every day.
Did you have any sexual encounters with other boys?
Nope, I didn’t sleep with men till I was 50.
Have you ever been married?
How many times?
Are you still married?
Do you have any children?
Does your ex-wife know anything about your relationship with men?
She’s actually the one who kinda got me started on it. She was out screwing other guys. She came home one night, and I went down on her and knew someone had come inside of her. I didn’t make a big deal about it at the time because I didn’t mind if she fucked other men. It actually got to be pretty regular: She’d come home, I’d immediately go down on her to lick her clean, fuck her and then eat my cum out of her…
So how did that lead to your getting started with men?
Nearly a year later she brought a guy here to the cabin. I sucked his cock in front of her. That was kind of the start of all that. She didn’t like anal, so he’d fuck me. Being super horny at the time made the decision easy. Right from the first time I had a cock in my ass, I loved it and began actively looking for men to fuck me.
You were 50?
Who was he?
A salesman who worked at the same place my wife did.
Did you ever have any attraction to men previous to that?
No, not really. I’m not really attracted to men. I don’t like to kiss them, and I don’t like to hug them. I just enjoy their cocks in my ass. I guess I’ve always enjoyed looking at cocks, too.
The study I wrote about involved guys who mostly identify as straight but also define that term more broadly. How do you identify?
Well, my friends all think I’m straight. But anyone I have an interest in, I openly tell them I’m a cocksucking anal slut faggot.
When was the last time you were with a woman?
About three years ago, my old girlfriend moved away. I don’t get to town much so I don’t meet many people.
How do you meet the men you have sex with?
Typically “casual encounters” on Craigslist.
Do you practice safe sex?
Have you ever used Craigslist to find or meet up with women?
Occasionally, yeah. I’ve had success meeting women on Craigslist. And couples.
Do you enjoy meeting couples?
Oh yeah. One of the best experiences I had was with a man and woman. She had been wanting to try double penetration, but as things would happen, she started her period that day so I asked the guy if he wanted to fuck me. She was taking pictures of us fucking and sucking each other’s cocks. I found it very erotic. I also had another couple here talking about fisting. I said, “I’d like to try that sometime if I had someone who was patient.” The woman said, “Oh, we do that all the time.” She had the guy get up on the coffee table, and she put on a pair of gloves and fisted him for me. I thought that was really great.
You mentioned most of the guys who fuck you are married. How do you know this?
Most of them advertise as “married man” or will tell me as we’re having sex. They’ll say things like, “My wife never lets me do this,” while they’re fucking me in the ass.
How do they justify having sex with men while being married to a woman?
I imagine most of their wives don’t like sucking cock or don’t like anal sex, so I take up the slack.
Some people in the study said they viewed being penetrated by a man as being a very masculine thing. What are your views on receiving anal, and why that may not be seen as a gay thing?
When a man’s cock gets harder inside of me and I can feel him cumming in the condom, it makes me feel that I’m receiving some of his manhood. It makes me feel like more of a man.
Many men in the study also believed they weren’t cheating on their wives if they just blew each other or fucked another man.
That’s where the mindset is for sure. They disconnect having sex with a man from being with another woman.
So is it a form of male bonding?
Not even that. Usually when someone shows up here for the first time, I’m naked and have their cock in my mouth or in my ass in under five minutes.
Before you even talk?
Oh yeah. I’m just interested in the sex.
Do you ever have a conversation with them?
I have one guy I get together with and suck cock pretty regularly. He fucks me every once in awhile. We talk quite a bit.
We’re both into hunting and guns, so we talk about different makes and models of particular firearms, what works good, what doesn’t. Stuff like that mostly.
You ever go out for coffee or anything?
Nope, we just hang out on the mountain. We like it up here.
What would you say is the average age of the men you have sex with?
I would say around 50. The youngest I ever sucked off was about 25. The oldest was 86 or 87.
In the photos you sent, there’s one where you have the words “anal slut cocksucker” written on your torso. Is that just advertising?
More or less. I like people to know what I am. I spread those all over the internet and encourage people to share them.
I don’t know for sure. I think it’s the humiliation of the possibility of my friends and family finding them.
You like that?
Deep inside, yes.
Can you try to put into words why that is?
Not really. I’m kinda stumped on it myself. I don’t know, I guess the chance of exposure.
Has anyone ever seen them?
I did have one friend see them, and my sister has seen them.
What did she say?
She doesn’t think anything about it. I think she suspected for quite some time that I had this part of my character.
You mentioned you haven’t had sex with a woman in three years. What do you miss most about sex with women?
I can take it or leave it, as long as the other guy is good at sucking cock. I do miss the hugging, cuddling and boobs though.
How relevant is the ruralness aspect for you? Is it less likely you would have sex with men in Missoula, New York or L.A.?
It’s more comfortable for me to interact with rural folks. I don’t relate to people in the city very well. It’s a different type of man I get with than the ones in the city. We talk about different things, if we talk at all — hunting, fishing, but mostly fucking.